


This Is It

by mggislife2789



Category: Criminal Minds, Spencer Reid - Fandom
Genre: F/M, Pregnancy, Reader-Insert, Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-21
Updated: 2017-07-21
Packaged: 2018-12-04 21:47:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11563989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mggislife2789/pseuds/mggislife2789
Summary: Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters or their original stories. This is only for fun. It's where my brain goes after the credits roll. No copyright intended. Better safe than sorry. ;)





	This Is It

What were you two? Friends? Lovers? Boyfriend and girlfriend? Friends with benefits? Two people with demanding jobs who wanted to have their cake and eat it too? Yea, that was probably the one.

As a child, you’d been fortunate enough to travel with your parents. Before you were 15, you’d been to Ireland, Scotland, England, Germany, Austria, the Czech Republic and Poland. Your thirst for travel was overwhelming. At 18, you got a tattoo - a very simple one - the word GO, with the ‘O’ being a picture of a globe. 

There were two things you wanted more than anything in the world. Given you closeness with your family, one of those things was having a family of your own. The other one, and to be honest, the bigger one at the age of 18, was to create a career for yourself out of traveling. Though it required some start-up money from your parents (to you know, travel), you’d done exactly that. For the past ten years, you’d travelled and written about it - a travel journalist. Freelance of course - you made your own rules. You were the luckiest woman in the world if you did say so yourself.

On top of a brilliant career, you had a sweet and sexy boyfriend named Spencer Reid. That was the problem though. You had no idea what you were to each other. Over the past few months especially, you’d come to the conclusion that you were two people who wanted to have their cake and eat it too. That made things very difficult because although you both wanted each other, you both wanted your jobs too.

The other big problem? You loved the tall, beautiful genius. It was because of that that you figured it might be best to let him go - find someone he loved that had a more rooted job so that he could have someone to love him like you did with a job that allowed them to show it more often. He was feeling it too; you could tell deep down that he was thinking the same thing but didn’t want to say anything, because he loved you too.

“Hey, Spence,” you said after being let into his apartment. You stumbled into him, tired from your flight back from Peru and crashed your lips into his. For a few moments, you kissed in the center of his living room, all soft lips and smooth skin, and then both of your faces fell. “I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you, too,” he said. His breath skirted over your ear as you swayed back and forth. “I’ve been thinking…”

“Me too.”

You pulled back slightly and leaned your forehead against his. His lip started to quiver as the tears stung at both your eyes. “This is happening, isn’t it?” you asked. You’d thought about it yourself, but actually being in the moment hurt more than you thought. “Why did we have to find each other under this set of circumstances?”

“I don’t know,” he said, his voice cracking at the thought of you walking out of his apartment never to be seen again. “I wish we’d met under different circumstances.”

You whispered your response into his lips as you continued to sway back and forth in his apartment. “You’re home tonight,” he said. “So will you stay tonight?”

One last night with the man you loved and couldn’t have. It was probably a mistake, but the reply fell off your lips before you could stop it. “Of course.”

No more words were spoken as you stumbled your way back into his bedroom, limbs flying as your clothes were shed. The last time would be a a blur of tears and limbs, his hands entangling in yours as he raked his lips down the slopes of your skin one last time. 

Free of the material that bound you both, Spencer lowered you to the bed. He was taking it painstakingly slow, kissing every inch of your skin, memorizing every dip and curve - as if it would be the last time - because it was. Through tears, you could see his own drop onto your skin, but when he came up to meet your gaze, you wiped his tears away and sighed as he filled you one last time.

—-

The next morning you left him with a kiss on the forehead as he slept and a note at his bedside. You told him you loved him and wanted the very best. You hoped he’d find someone who loved him like you did but would have the ability to show it more often than you could. If you’d stayed until he woke up, you knew you would see the longing in his eyes, because you felt it too. But neither of you could continue on like that, so you left before he could try and convince you.

The only thing that was keeping you at all grounded was the fact that soon you’d be in the air, a world away, for a three-month trek around Australia. You had a lot to do, a lot to see, and even more to write, but it would keep you employed and travel-happy for nearly a half a year (three months of trekking and three of writing articles for various employers).

—-

Three straight months abroad had been a godsend in getting over Spencer. Not that you were over him - not by a long shot, but it kept you busy and mingling with people halfway across the world for three months. 

You’d stayed in the cheapest hotels possible, only staying in luxury hotels when certain employers paid you because they wanted you to review them. Otherwise, you barely stayed in the same place for more than two or three days at a time, exploring everything from the Sydney Opera House to the Royal Botanical Gardens to the Great Barrier Reef to numerous museums and the beaches of the Sunshine Coast. You were getting paid to relax. What could possibly have been better? You were sitting on beaches, eating great food, you were in great health…you hadn’t had cramps. In three months. You hadn’t had your period in three months. 

In a panic, you headed to a convenience store to buy a pregnancy test. You sat in your room, peeing on every stick imaginable. Five in all. Each one showing a big, fat plus sign.

Your heart began to race. Oh my god. You were pregnant and there was no other possible father but Spencer. This is why you’d broken up! Because doing this to each other was bad enough, but a child - that was just cruel.

Sitting on the bed in your final hotel of the last three months, you clutched at your stomach and started to cry. You knew yourself. You couldn’t get rid of this baby. This was a piece of you - and Spencer. Your entire life was going to change, but would Spencer want to change his? Or would he retreat further into his work with the Bureau?

—-

The past three months of Spencer’s life had been hell. He hadn’t realized how in love with Y/N he was until all that was left of her was a note. “Still?” JJ asked as he walked in that morning. 

“It’s on and off, JJ. Sometimes I can sleep, but normally only when I’m so exhausted at my brain running over her words again and again. Did we make a mistake?”

JJ shrugged, sitting at her friend’s side and hesitating. “I don’t know, Spence. I know that relationships are hard. Will and I work at ours every day, and your job and her job are even more hectic than Will and mine, but it boils down to whether you want to work to keep her in your life, whether you both want to. You both have to want it for it to work.”

Spencer swallowed hard, wondering where she was right now. He missed her. He missed the smell of her skin on his sheets. He missed her laugh. Her smile was no longer there to brighten his day, whether in person or through a picture over the phone. You just disappeared. He did want you. He wanted to work at it. Pulling out his phone, he shot her a text message. “Call me when you get back from Australia.”

—-

Spencer had messaged you. He wanted to see you. There was a big possibility he was going to regret that when you walked up to his door. But you had too. Although it would be easier on you, you couldn’t possibly go on with this pregnancy without telling Spencer that he was going to be a father; he had a right to know.

“Got back yesterday?” You texted. “Meet at 8? Your place?”

He got back to you almost immediately. “Sounds good. See you then.”

You wasted away the hours between the text and your meeting pacing around your own apartment and panicking. Having already set up an appointment with your OB, there was nothing else you could do to pass the time, but finally it came, and you drove over to Spencer’s apartment with your heart in your throat. 

When you approached the door to knock, you felt like you wanted to vomit. Was that nerves, or possibly night-sickness instead of morning sickness? All you knew was you wanted to spew chunks - not to get graphic or anything. “Hey, Spence.”

“Y/N,” he said. The smile that spread across his face was like a flower, blooming proudly in spring. “I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too,” you replied, breathlessly. You started to cry, not knowing what to say, how to say it or if to say it. “Spence, I…I need to tell you something.”

“Me too,” he started.

You had to get it out, so you stopped him, pressing your finger to his lips. “I need to go first. I’m pregnant, Spence, and the baby is yours.” His face dropped and the tears started to flow. “I know myself. I can’t get rid of this baby. It’s not the right time, but I want to keep it. Your job is crazy hectic and dangerous and if you don’t want anything to do with me or this baby anymore I will understand, but I thought you had a right to know.” Quickly, you pulled back the flap of your messenger bag and handed him a positive pregnancy test. “I’m having this baby, Spence. The ball is in your court.”

Before he could say another word, you turned around and began to walk down the stairs. He was frozen in place, but when she started to leave he called her name. “Y/N, come back!” he said frantically, running down the stairs behind her. “You’re pregnant? We’re gonna be parents?”

You nodded and started to bawl, a bundle of nerves and excitement. “Yes. I have to change my life to have this baby. Are you willing to do the same? Or am I going this on my own?”

“No, we’re in this together,” he said, his tears staining his upturned lips. “I’ve missed you so much these past three months and baby or not, I wanted to try and make this work, so this is it.”

You wrapped your arms around his neck and whispered in his ear. “This is it.”


End file.
